


Retirement supposedly means no more fighting

by Melime



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Banter, Dialogue Heavy, M/M, Old Married Couple, Retirement
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-15 19:32:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13037898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melime/pseuds/Melime
Summary: Dorian and Bull get captured by bandits and have to fight their way out. Somehow, they keep finding themselves in these situations in their retirement, but it may be their own fault.





	Retirement supposedly means no more fighting

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kahlan_Amnell](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kahlan_Amnell/gifts).
  * Translation into Português brasileiro available: [Aposentadoria supostamente significa não lutar mais](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13386786) by [Melime GreenLeaf (Melime)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melime/pseuds/Melime%20GreenLeaf)



Dorian struggled against his restraints. One would figure that after all these years--decades? Oh, he was getting old--with Bull he would be used to being tied up, but of course these bandits couldn’t even have the decency of buying some quality rope.

“How did I let you talk me into this?” Dorian said, sighing in a deeply dramatic fashion.

“Oh, is that how we’re playing now?” Bull asked, barely disguising a laugh.

“I have no idea what you are talking about. I was perfectly happy enjoying a glass of fine wine when you decided that we should go after this whole band of evildoers. This is clearly on you.” The falsely offended tone betrayed how much fun he was having.

“Right, and me ‘deciding’ to kick their asses had nothing to do with that whole speech of yours?”

“I don’t remember any speech.”

“‘Oh, Amatus, did you hear? Another farm near here was torched. We simply can’t allow that to continue! We should do something about that,’” Bull said, trying to achieve a mockingly dramatic tone and only barely succeeding, it was hard to out-drama Dorian.

“Fine, I may have said something to that regard, but you were the one who said we could easily drop twenty men.”

“Well, we still can, if you stop playing around with the ropes and get us free. You’re out of practice, you used to be able to get out of them in no time,” he teased.

“Oh, you mean, these little things?” Dorian asked, getting up and waving his ropes in front of Bull’s face. “I’ve untied them about five minutes ago, but I couldn’t miss the opportunity of having you try to explain yourself.”

This time, Bull couldn’t avoid his laughter. “You got me there, kadan. Now, can you do me the favor of untying me too? That’s not as easy for those of us who don’t have all ten fingers.”

Dorian smiled, sitting on Bull’s lap and reaching behind his back. “I’ll see what I can do about that, if I’m not too _out of practice_ , that is.”

“Are you sure that’s the best way to do this?” he said against Dorian’s ear.

Dorian arched an eyebrow suggestively. “I could try using my teeth, but that wouldn’t be as fast.”

Dorian would have pondered on how, perhaps, he was spending too much time with Bull and having him as a bad influence, but he stopped indulging in that way of thinking long ago. There was nothing like spending the first half of their marriage in different countries to make him appreciate everything of Bull, even the crude humor Dorian had picked up on.

“Save that idea for when we’re back at home. I think we have some ribbon that is thin enough for you to chew through, that would be hot.”

Dorian released him, and then stood up, offering Bull a hand to get up as well, already so used to the trouble Bull’s knee gave him it was as if the injury was in Dorian’s own body. “If I didn’t know you better, I might suspect you thought fighting bandits was foreplay.”

“And since you do know me better?”

“I know that for sure. Now, they have my staff and your sword. How do you suggest we break out of this barn?”

“Well, I do remember a way to make your magic go wild and set things on fire without a staff…” Bull said, and winked.

“I hate that I can tell when you are winking, I hope you know that.” Which of course meant he loved how he learned to read Bull’s body over the years, even though at times there were still surprises. “And as fond as I am of that idea, I don’t think we have that kind of time in our hands before our captors decide to check in on us.” Predicting what Bull was going to say, he continued, “And no, I don’t think giving them a show is a good idea.”

“How about those magic rings you love so much?”

Dorian decided to forgo correcting that they weren’t ‘magic rings’ this time, instead raising his hands. “They took those too. I suppose you could always break down the door?”

“Not so fast, if I do that I’ll be feeling my shoulder all winter.” Bull reached inside his pants and procured an ornate ring with a large rock, similar to others Dorian had.

“Where did you get that from?”

“Your dresser, it’s one of the older ones you weren’t using anyone. I always like to carry a couple ones with me in case you need them.”

“Yes, I remember. You bought me that on our tenth anniversary trip, I would never forget the poor fashion sense of dawnstone instead of gold. I meant where did you get that from right now,” Dorian said, gesturing at the general direction of Bull’s pants, that happened to have no pockets.

Bull shrugged. “Nowhere you haven’t touched before.”

“Fair enough, give me the ring,” Dorian said, putting out his palm as if waiting for Bull to toss it to him.

Instead, Bull placed the ring on his finger like a wedding band, always the gentleman.

“I saw where they left our weapons. You blast the door, I’ll grab the staff and toss it to you.”

“Fine, but this is our last time doing this. You know retirement is supposed to mean we’ll stop getting into fights, don’t you?”

“Didn’t you say that the last twenty times you got us into fights?”

“Of course not! You were the one who got us into some of them.”

Bull laughed, he wouldn’t trade their banter for anything in the world. “Whatever you say, kadan.”

“That job with Krem? Those murderous noblemen? The _dragon_? Those are all on you.”

“And I could list the ones you got us into, but I still hope we get home in time to make dinner.”

“Very well.” Dorian held up a fireball, ready to strike, and smiled deviously. “Shall we?”

Bull prepared to run. “Ready when you are.”


End file.
